Lazy Old Sayings

They tell writers that it is lazy to use old sayings instead of thinking of new ones, but I’m lazy, so here goes.


They say that children and fools should not see a job half finished because they will be too critical. So if you are in one of these categories, please don’t look at this photograph.

As you can see, the project is to join North Perth (top right) to Perth (lower left), but there is about a year of shifting mountains of earth before the job is done.

When tourists – ask me the way to somewhere in Central Perth, I accompany them because it is easier than explaining.

city of Perth, W. AustraliaYour task, should you choose to accept it, is to get from point 1 – just outside of the underground bus station – to point 8 – the Creative Native Aboriginal Art Gallery.

Warning: next common sayings are coming up. The distance between the two points as the crow flies is 256 yards, and we all know that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. However, unless you are one of the pigeons infesting the place you can’t travel the straight line. So I’ll tell you three other ways.

From 1, walk down the muddy track to the traffic lights and wait for the cross now sign to cross the road to point 2. You probably won’t have to wait more than five minutes. Then you wait for the cross now sign to cross the road to point 3, and again you are unlikely to have to wait for more than five minutes. Then you just keep on walking till you get to point 8 and go down the dangerously steep steps to the gallery.

The second way is to travel underneath the road. You start off the same way, but turn left to get to point 4, turn  right, tag on, dive underground, walk to the correct elevator, tag off, go up, turn right, cross Forrest Chase, and you’re there. The distance traveled is greater than the first option, but you don’t have to wait twice to cross the roads.

You may notice a ragged shadow a little to the left of point 8, in the middle of Forrest Chase. That is the “cactus” that I described under atrocities At the other end of Forrest Chase is the tourist information kiosk.

city of Perth, W. AustraliaMoving on to the third way, which is to cross above the road. Once there is a garden path between point 1 and the railway station at point 6, this will be the shortest way.

For now, you must start off by going down to the main road. Turn left along a temporary path next to the horseshoe bridge. Then go under the bridge. Tag on to go through the barrier into the railway station. Go up the elevator. Tag off to go through the barrier and turn right to point 7. Cross the footbridge over the road. Go down the stairs and round the corner to point 8 and downstairs to Creative Native.

There is an enormous choice of Aboriginal art, but they didn’t have any paperbark pictures which I really wanted to see. Most of it is traditional Aboriginal art made with lots of dots, and they do have boomerangs and didgeridoos.

Who says that you can’t have an adventure in less than three hundred yards?

In the top right of the photo you can see the street name “Forrest Chase.” At the bottom right is an adhesive poster advertising a relocation sale, so the shop may no longer be there when you get there. Just go  to the tourist information place and ask them where it has moved.

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