3 Perth Artistic Atrocities

Warning: If you are sane and have artistic sensibilities, do not view this post.

The Cactus

The Cactus Perth, W. Australia

The first atrocity is not even ugly. Locals call it “The Cactus.” It looks as if the artist plagiarized his child’s attempts to make a modelling clay version of a cactus. The thorns would be too dangerous to pedestrians, and anyhow they would be too realistic for modern artists.

I can imagine the artist thinking “I wonder if I could trick the government into accepting this as art?” And he did manage to sell the idea to the ignorant members of the government.

The Crushed Beer Can

Approaching crushed Beer canThe locals call the next atrocity “The Crushed Beer Can”. If architecture indicates the state of mind of the artist, this must have been designed by an inmate of a lunatic asylum.  I thought that the pain would be less if I approached it gradually, so the first picture is taken from a long way away.

It shows a car hurrying to get past the atrocity that is Perth Arena as fast as possible. As you can see even from this distance, the architect has never discovered the concept of using a plumb line. You don’t need directions – it is rather visible as you stroll around Perth Business District.

Crushed beer can Perth, W. Australia

You can see a woman running across the street to get away from the horrible structure as fast as possible.

crushed beer can, Perth, W. AustraliaIn fear and trembling I walked even closer to the monstrous structure. This is the last photo before I come to the next atrocity standing near the crushed beer can.

I understand that this insanity has not been repeated indoors.

The theater seats are nowhere near as lumpy and spiky as the exterior would suggest.

The Pineapple

The PineappleI happen to think that this atrocity can be quite beautiful when seen in certain lights – but it isn’t art. It reminds me of the ancient Lambert Encyclopaedia drawing of a crocodile, where the artist had never seen a crocodile.

I’m guessing that the designer of the pineapple had seen a line drawing of a geodesic tower. The confusing lines intrigued him so he created a three dimensional shape that was his idea of what he thought was a geodesic tower.

Strangely enough there is a geodesic dome only a short distance to the North West of the Pineapple. The dome is lit up at night with many light bulbs, so the dome shape can be seen in the dark.

Those strange shapes in the background belong to the East side of the crushed beer can, and the next three photographs are moving anticlockwise to the North of the monstrosity.

East side of crushed beer can, W. AustraliaFortunately there are no gladiators in this arena – it would be too cruel to make their last vision of Perth include the crushed beer can.

I suspect that the architect didn’t have anything to do with the placement of lamp posts outside of the atrocity, because the next picture shows a lamp post that is vertical.

NE side of crushed beer can The North West corner has the same junk-yard appearance with white pipes going nowhere. The prettiest part is the blue sky and clouds.

Crushed beer can looks like junk yardYou can see the footpath that also allows bikes. This goes along the South of the railway line and I followed it to Leederville, another district of Perth.

Shutters to block sunOn Oxford street there is a building with a strange arrangement of shutters. However this is not insane architecture, but a very practical solution to a problem.

Each of the colorful shutters is angled so as to allow sun through to the building behind it in the winter, and prevent sun shining through in the summer. Sunlight is the great enemy in the summer. Anything made of plastic, such as a carpet will crumble in a year or two of exposure to the pitiless sunlight of Perth, W. Australia.

From the shadow of the lamp post you can work out that it is about 1pm, because Oxford Street runs North and South, and the sun is shining from just a little bit to the West of North.

city of Perth, W. Australia
At last, after experiencing all those crazy modern-art angles, it was a relief to see this complicated graffiti and notice that all the buildings had lovely parallel walls. It seems that I had escaped from the fun house. I would guess that the owner of the wall gave permission for the artist to produce his graffiti, because it would take many hours to finish the creation.

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